Month: October 2018

I am thankful for Rebekah’s peace. I am thankful for her glimpses of first love. I am thankful that she has weathered an adult-sized storm in six short weeks.

Two funerals in the space of three weeks.

A drug overdose: a young mother. Mother to Rebekah’s best friend. A death we foresaw, but shook our world. The best friend stays at our house the day after her mother died. Rebekah’s love for her friend permeated our home and held us up.

A suicide: a sixteen-year-old boy. Rebekah’s social media crush. She met him once. But she connected and was taken aback that he found her beautiful, even sexy. He talked to her the night he died. Rebekah’s probably the last voice he heard. And again, she loved. She offered him love. She pleaded and said “please don’t” and “I care for you.” Her love tragic, futile, maybe. But she carried him in love to his end.

The funerals are full of words. Words dwarfed by grief. Grief mingling with Rebekah’s love.

And now a first love: for my daughter, Rebekah. Her love mirrored back by a boy that holds her hand.

I captured this moment last fall in Northern California while on vacation. I watched several surfers stand for long periods of time watching the water. Often in groups chatting and laughing but watchful of the water. Always watching. Since I grew up 30 miles from Youngstown, I had absolutely no idea why they were watching the water so intently and I was curious. So, I asked a very young surfer why everyone appeared to be watching the water. He responded with a very detailed answer about tides, rocks, current, and crowd. I got lost in his answer somewhere around his tide explanation. He must have noticed my confusion and simply stated, “Waiting for the wave”. AH! Waiting for the wave! I got it! Maybe.

As I waited for the sun to set, I dug my toes into the sand and my thoughts began to wonder. I thought about waiting for the wave. I thought about how many other elements made riding the wave a perfect ride. I thought about  waiting. Waiting for everything to be just right to take that chance. I thought about my own life and how many times I’ve waited for everything to be perfect before I took a chance. I thought about how many missed opportunities I’ve had because nothing is ever perfect.

The setting sun brought me back to reality. I started to photograph, well, I tried to start snapping photos of the setting sun but the surfers were in all my shots. Gathered in various groups all chatting, laughing, and having a great time together. I was witnessing community on the beach in Northern California during the most beautiful sunset. Wow! Talk about a wave! I missed home in that moment. I missed my community. I missed my friends. I missed St. John’s, where everyone is welcome and loved. We all may be waiting for our wave or waiting for the perfect conditions to take a chance or not  but we are all doing it together. I couldn’t ask to be in a better place than right here in Youngstown Ohio.