A few days ago I made a questionable driving choice, not blatantly illegal but foolish. I thought at the time it was not a bad idea. But it was. And little did I know that someone followed me into the parking lot and waited until I got out of my car, and then proceeded to scream at me profanely about my bad choice.
At first I was put off by the language, and wondered how far his rage would progress. I listened to him, and when he was done I realized that while his methods were questionable, his message was accurate. I had been reckless and someone could have been hurt. So I said the only thing I could think of at that moment, I’m sorry. Because I was.
When I processed it later I knew that it was one of those Covid things—caught up in my own thoughts, griefs, anxieties-not totally present in the moment. It was something I would never normally do. I am not reckless. I could have chosen to hate the messenger, but in fact, I think he was a blessing. It takes a jarring experience to propel me out of my head. This man, in his own way, showed me mercy.
In the season of Advent, we pray for mercy. I have always thought of mercy as transactional. God shows me incredible mercy, so I ought to offer it to others. If I expect people to be merciful to me, I have to practice that behavior as well. Now I am realizing that mercy is only a gift. One that is occasionally given to me, one that I occasionally offer. I almost never earn or deserve it (maybe sometimes). It is one of those moments of sheer blessing and I try to pay attention when it comes my way.
We are in a world of confusion and pain and fear. People are making mistakes. Coincidentally I have heard several stories just this week about foolish driving choices, which doesn’t diminish mine but puts me in good company. The point is we are in need of mercy more than ever, and we need to offer it back as well. Sometimes that might mean telling someone they made a mistake, but mostly it means loving people as they are, accepting that we are all flawed, and working toward compassionate healing in all our relationships. And mostly, it is about being so very grateful for the mercy I am given.