I have been paying attention to gratitude this week. I was provoked by a book I am reading to think more deeply about grace before meals, thanking God for the bounty I have been giving but also thanking whatever gave up its life to feed me. It moves me to be grateful with beauty and intention.
I was raised to say prayers before meals, especially for the evening meal where we all ate supper together as a family. We always said the same prayer in a plodding way, and my dad would add a postscript that I am sure was sincere but that I always found irritating. Let’s just say that the whole experience was not inspiring to me or probably to God.
When I raised my children we followed the same basic tradition. We would try to change it up. And sometimes there were power struggles, which I am sure also didn’t inspire God. Trying to instill piety in teenagers can be epic in levels of stubbornness. But I wonder now how much I seemed to really care about prayer. How much was I an actual inspiration for gratitude?
Not that I can do anything about that now, but it has made me think about how I currently offer thanks. I find I mean it more at lunch, when I am truly grateful not always for the food but for the time, for the quiet, for a break. Hopefully for the food too, but I am not always excited about leftovers, so it is more that I have the provision I need, my daily bread.
I am less grateful at supper, when many days of the week I am squeezing it in before my next zoom engagement. I often do not have the time to muster gratitude when I am thinking about the next meeting and my responsibilities in it. When I am not frenzied I am often tired, being a morning person I am usually spent by the end of the day.
Which doesn’t mean I am not grateful. Or that I should not make space for gratitude regardless of the circumstances. Remembering to thank God should be happening all the time, for all my blessings. Maybe that is the key for me. A brief moment of silence or a deep breath for the sustenance and bounty with which I am provided at a meal, and a more extensive prayer of gratitude in the morning when I am awake. I am working on it. Finding the right way for this time in my life. How about you?