Author: Gayle Catinella

This week we celebrate Gaudete Sunday, a time of rejoicing. This week we are to calm down even more and practice joy. These days joy is in short supply. Too much sickness and death, too much violence and threats, too much division. And yet we are called to be joyful. Not happy, not perky, not saccharine sweet – joyful.

So how do we do it? How do we practice something we can’t always conjure? I have two suggestions. First, notice kindness and generosity in others. That always brings me joy, and I am blessed in my work to see this a lot. This week we will deliver about 800 books to kids who are in really precarious situations. We will bring joy by our gift. Kids might or might not love books, but these books will be theirs, these books will be an opportunity and an escape.

When I look at the boxes filled with fun, serious, classic, race and gender appropriate books, my heart is full. I think of each person I saw drop them off, sometimes with stories about why they chose this title or that, sometimes explaining how a book moved them or someone they love. I think about all the packages of books we received in the mail, never with a name attached. I don’t know who you are, but thank you so much!! I think of you pouring over your computer trying to find just the right title for a 9 year old.

Thinking about the effort this takes, all that you did, the commitment you made; that brings joy!

It is also a joyful thing to be generous. That is my second suggestion. This is a season for gift giving, so we are in good company. It’s more than just purchasing something. It’s being pleasant to the check-out person or the mail carrier. It’s patronizing a small business to support them in this difficult time. It’s carry out at a family owned restaurant, who gives you big portions to thank you for coming. It’s an extra big tip in the tip jar. It makes me happy, joyful, and feel good about myself, when I am generous.

Joy is healing. It doesn’t seem like it changes much, but it is contagious, and it leaves a mark. This week how will you bring joy into your own life by bringing joy into the world?

A few days ago I made a questionable driving choice, not blatantly illegal but foolish. I thought at the time it was not a bad idea. But it was. And little did I know that someone followed me into the parking lot and waited until I got out of my car, and then proceeded to scream at me profanely about my bad choice. 

At first I was put off by the language, and wondered how far his rage would progress. I listened to him, and when he was done I realized that while his methods were questionable, his message was accurate. I had been reckless and someone could have been hurt. So I said the only thing I could think of at that moment, I’m sorry. Because I was.

When I processed it later I knew that it was one of those Covid things—caught up in my own thoughts, griefs, anxieties-not totally present in the moment. It was something I would never normally do. I am not reckless. I could have chosen to hate the messenger, but in fact, I think he was a blessing. It takes a jarring experience to propel me out of my head. This man, in his own way, showed me mercy.

In the season of Advent, we pray for mercy. I have always thought of mercy as transactional. God shows me incredible mercy, so I ought to offer it to others. If I expect people to be merciful to me,  I have to practice that behavior as well. Now I am realizing that mercy is only a gift. One that is occasionally given to me, one that I occasionally offer. I almost never earn or deserve it (maybe sometimes). It is one of those moments of sheer blessing and I try to pay attention when it comes my way.

We are in a world of confusion and pain and fear. People are making mistakes. Coincidentally I have heard several stories just this week about foolish driving choices, which doesn’t diminish mine but puts me in good company. The point is we are in need of mercy more than ever, and we need to offer it back as well. Sometimes that might mean telling someone they made a mistake, but mostly it means loving people as they are, accepting that we are all flawed, and working toward compassionate healing in all our relationships.  And mostly, it is about being so very grateful for the mercy I am given.

I have been following Virginia Theological Seminary’s #AdventWord 2020. Each day they put out a word that relates to the Advent season, and the day of this writing, the word is Rebuild. 

I am intrigued by this word because it holds so much possibility. Lately I have been noticing the foundation of my garage. I don’t know how old it is, but it is a crumbly mess. As you can imagine, this causes all manner of problems. It is a situation that will have to be addressed, but I find it overwhelming to think about. Rebuilding a damaged foundation is a lot of work.

I wonder though what small but foundational things can be worked on now. Last night I was in a conversation talking about the difficulty of rebuilding relationships. How many people in the past few years have lost sight of what is important because of ideology or politics? How do we mend or rebuild that brokenness? How do we find the ways we might reconnect and not lose something precious?

Rebuilding is certainly harder when there has been abuse or cruelty. Sometimes real change has to happen and amends must be made. But how many times is the fracture about something silly, inconsequential, a misunderstanding? Those are the relationships worth repairing. 

We have to rebuild our country with the coming of new leadership. We have to rebuild our lives in light of the pandemic. We will have to rebuild our church relationships after time away. Maybe we will have to rebuild good habits after the excesses of the holidays. Plenty of work to do. 

The vision we hold for this rebuilding is the Kingdom of God. That is what we always strive to participate in, to build up. In this Advent season, gather your tools, prepare your hearts, watch for opportunities, and be ready to rebuild. We work with God to rebuild a broken world into a peaceable Kingdom. May it be so.

I recently signed up for new car insurance, and to get a better rate, I had to sync the car to my phone, which will report on my driving. I am skeptical about the whole thing, but also cheap, so I said yes. And the first week’s results are in—overall excellent!! Of course.

They rate five areas and I had excellent or great on 4 of them. Smooth acceleration, reasonable speed (that one is questionable but don’t tell), the right times of day, and minimal distractions, aced them!  My only area of improvement is hard braking. To be honest, I don’t recall any hard braking, though I was rushing home one day to meet a repair person and might have taken some hard turns. But anyway, I will comply and pay attention in this area.

And isn’t it just like Jesus that I can turn this into an Advent practice. Advent is a time to slow down, to be reflective, to breathe. It is not a time of hard braking, careening around corners, or whatever else I was doing. Advent is a time to be intentional and to prepare for the glorious coming of Jesus. I don’t remember Jesus doing any hard braking in the Gospels. 

It is often the case that the feedback you receive on your life, from the most unexpected places, reflects a real need. I would be foolish not to take heed of my hard braking and the metaphor that might be for other things in my life. Pay attention during this Advent season. Light your wreath, appreciate beauty, engage in hope, revel in peace. 

Jesus is coming, and we want him to be happy with what He finds.

In a little while I am going to do one of the things l love the most: buy books! None for myself this time, but it doesn’t really matter. I have a chunk of cash to buy the kids at Williamson Elementary books for our collection, and I am on it with enthusiasm.

This year the kids won’t be able to pick their own books, so we are going to put a fun book, a fiction book and a science book together for each kid in each grade. We are also ordering the same book for all the Middle School kids in case their teachers might want to use the book in class; we are trying to be a little innovative with our new circumstances.

There are other considerations. I want kids to see characters in the book who look like them and especially heroes who look like them. I want to step out of stereotypes that are too easy. Black athletes and helpful women are great, but there is so much more that we all are than one thing, and I want that reflected in the book choices.

I will also be looking for Black, Latin, and women authors. Perspective is everything, and we all need to read a variety of perspectives. One of the women in the parish teaches 8^th grade English, and she supplies me with a steady stream of YA novels. I read my first graphic novel this summer, and it was great. I might have dismissed them as too…whatever, too simple, too childish, too beneath me. But I loved it, and it helped me to clarify some of my prejudices.

I realize there is a lot of power and influence to picking a book for someone. I want everyone to love to read, and I know that isn’t the case. My son Martin came to reading as an adult when he was able to pick what books he read and no one told him that he had to appreciate something. I like mysteries and historical fiction, but I just finished reading Caste by Isabel Wilkerson, and it was a powerful piece of nonfiction.

We can only do our best to be diverse and compelling, and hope that something in the child clicks with what they have been given. Reading for me is such a comfort, an escape, an exploration of new worlds. I want the children at Williamson to feel loved and challenged. Thanks to everyone who is buying books this year for these kids!!

This weekend our diocese has its annual convention. So let me back up, a diocese is a geographical area of the church, kind of like a state. It has a Bishop who is elected to serve as its leader. Our diocese is the Diocese of Ohio, which includes about 100 churches across the upper half of the state. 

Being a part of something bigger than ourselves is a blessing. Our diocese offers us advice, keeps us apprised of what is happening in the national church, helps us figure out how the world impacts us. For example, the diocese helped many churches receive PPP assistance from the federal government in response to Covid19. We receive grants for several of our programs from the diocese. They are a hub that also includes prayer. And we support the diocese financially with a contribution based on our cash flow (so larger parishes give more than the smaller ones).

When we gather for a few days every year, we see to the governance of the church, fill committee vacancies, celebrate occasions. My favorite part is our worship together, hundreds of people singing hymns and praying for each other. It is a powerful time. We also tackle how we want to respond to social issues, discerning together what God is calling us to do. 

Our church is a democracy, and every parish has three representatives as well as its clergy who can vote. It is a holy responsibility to be a part of this process. But it is also a joy, as we hear stories of ministry and evangelism that we can all share with each other. 

Sometimes it feels like we are isolated on the east coast. But in fact, we are bonded and held together by this marvelous thing, this holy thing-the Body of Christ. And it is so much more obvious when we are all celebrating that together. 

Pray for the church this weekend. We face many challenges so it is a blessing to have each other. We will be on zoom, which is another new thing. Pray that we can discern even far apart a holy future for this church we love. 

Many years ago I lived in Belize for a while, just as they were preparing for their first election after emancipation from Great Britain. The big debate was the number of political parties they should have represented in their election. Some wanted a two party system, like we essentially have in the United States. Some wanted a one party system, no fighting, just get the job done. 

Being from the States, I was often asked to weigh in, and I had to think about our system critically essentially for the first time. I found myself saying what I value about our system. Two parties bring balance, they make sure all voices are heard, they lead to compromise that benefits the most people, they only last in power as long as they are serving the most people. 

I envied Belize, at the time, the opportunity to think these things through and choose a system based on the wisdom and experience of the world. What an incredible moment, determining the best way to serve the most people. 

I believe our country is at a crossroads as well. And it is time we examine what we value about democracy, and what we are willing to offer to make it strong. This election cycle has been an exercise in bullying, incivility, and the worship of power. We have looked foolish, not an example of what to do but of what not to do. 

I pray we go back to those values I held up years ago-balance, common good, compromise, integrity. We are starting a new cycle, a new opportunity. I pray all of us live up to the building up of democracy that is a responsibility of living in this country. We are not hopeless or helpless. We are deeply divided. Let’s do the work of putting this all back together.

This week the Province V campus ministers gathered for their annual meeting, virtually of course. Of all the groups I belong to, they are the most fun. We laugh and celebrate and they have incredibly wonderful and innovative ideas. This year, however, it was a more subdued gathering. We were all tired, anxious, and overwhelmed. Between Covid and the elections, everyone was rough around the edges. 

So we talked about it. Our speaker was a priest and mental health professional. She outlined for us the physical toll that the stress we are all under has on us. Not just priests, all of us. She reminded us that the stress we experience is carried in our bodies. And if we aren’t intentional about letting it go, it stays with us, eating away at our mental and physical health. 

As the Covid season stretches on endlessly, and new decisions about how to stay safe and function in the world have to be made every day, it is important to remember that you aren’t crazy, you aren’t lazy, you aren’t unusual. You, all of us, have been under an enormous amount of hyper-anxiety that only seems to be getting worse. One woman said how she has broken two teeth in the last 8 months, and her dentist said he sees 3-4 broken teeth per day from clenching and grinding. The effects are real. 

And do you know the best news of all? The easiest and most effective way to get rid of the effects of stress is to drink water!! A lot of water, but still. How easy is that?  Breathing exercises, making one small decision at a time, and distracting yourself are also helpful. There are healthy ways to cope. We have to practice them, incorporate them into our lives.

Another important thing to remember is that we are all struggling here, so we need to hold things lightly. Be kind, be flexible, be understanding. The stress of the upcoming election has brought out the worst in so many of us. Be careful and cut everyone some slack. Life is hard for everyone. 

Be aware of the toll this time takes on all of us, take good care of yourself and stay calm. This is turning into an ultra-marathon, and we all want to make it through alive. We can’t do it alone though. Treat everyone (and yourself) as though they are precious. 

It’s 2020. So of course the minute we plan to open the church for indoor services the Covid rate soars. People are expressing their reasonable concern about this, and the answer is that we are going to take it one week at a time. 

But in general the only way reopening is going to work is if we cooperate, and my biggest worry is that people will not make reservations for the services. We have to control the numbers in a fair way, and the best way to do that is a reservation system, which members will receive by email next week. If you aren’t on the list, you can’t come to church. That just sounds so harsh to me, but it is the way to keep everyone safe. 

I have tried to compensate for this by having multiple services, trying to accommodate all needs. Please recognize that we want you to come to church, we miss you! And if someone isn’t online, they can call the office and we will make a reservation for you. Just be sure to talk to a person and not just leave a message. 

Of course, if you are sick, or anxious about getting sick, please stay home! We want you to feel comfortable, and if the timing isn’t right for you, that is OK. We will continue to offer the 10:30 service on Facebook Live so you can join us virtually for worship. Please make good choices about staying safe. 

Plan on this as we re-open—plan to make a reservation every week, plan to wear a mask, plan to socially distance in the pews, plan to receive communion only with hosts, plan on not singing, and plan on washing your hands a lot. Which is to say, this will not be going back to the way it was.

And… won’t it be amazing to be back together??!!  Won’t it be such a gift to worship as a congregation in one place??!! Won’t it be a joy to join our voices in prayer??!!  I really can’t wait. 

Please do your part to make this work with a spirit of flexibility and care for all our members and acknowledgement of the blessing this church is in our lives. Thank you!! 

I bought a new couch back in July. It was time for that old, brown, disgusting sofa bed to go. I ended up giving the sofa bed to a woman on the Facebook marketplace who had purchased new living room furniture, gave away her old stuff, and lost her job the next day so had to cancel the order for the new purchases. She was so relieved to have something to sit on, and I was happy the sofa that had served us through raising six children had a new purpose. 

My new loveseat, blue, finally came yesterday. It took that long to arrive. I guess furniture factories are not essential services, and I understand. It looks great, it is very comfortable, and I have this deep desire to cover it with a sheet to protect it like my mother would.

They say you become your parents, and I have been noticing this for a while. But I think the deeper issue is fear of change. I don’t want anything to happen to that loveseat, I want it to stay new-looking forever. That isn’t bad in itself. I paid a lot of money for it. But to what lengths am I willing to go to avoid change?

All of us have been raised with certain values and expectations. We have been socialized to believe what is good and what is bad. Challenging and changing those ideas are hard and most of us like to avoid that. But it leads to stereotypes and inaccuracies that we don’t even realize we need to challenge.

For example, I can’t survive without community. But I have been taught to value individualism, to go after my own needs and wants before all others, and to care about myself first. Most of us have. It isn’t healthy, helpful or practical, but we have been steeped in individualism. Usually it doesn’t even occur to us to challenge that, or to forge a new way.

It is the same with attitudes toward race. As a white person, I was raised to glorify whiteness, to see my skin tone as “normal” and “the ideal.” My white-centric way of seeing the world isn’t something I ever have to question or think about if I choose. And yet, it isn’t the “norm” or the only or the best. And when we foster attitudes and practices that try to keep it the way we have been socialized, that is racism. And it impacts people, hurts people, every day. 

As much as we don’t like to change, and as much as we think we have had all the challenge we can take for 2020, many of the things we don’t even question have disastrous consequences. They promote racism and division. They give us the excuse not to call ourselves racist or work to change any of our personal behaviors. They allow us to be comfortable and feel safe in a world where that is not true for most people.

Change is needed. It has to start in our own hearts. And we cannot be afraid.