My mother, it seemed, knew every person in Darien, IL. She would and could talk to anyone. She had a genuine, perpetual smile. And for many years she sold advertising for the city newspaper. She tried to help small businesses reach their goals and spent hours listening not just to hopes and dreams, but stories about vacations and grandchildren and sick relatives.
My mother also listened to people she didn’t like. It was very hard to change her mind. My stubbornness comes from her. But because she wanted to understand people, and really cared, she took the time to get to know people better. Her first thought was compassionate, that a grumpy person must be going through something hard. And because she tried to stay open, she earned a lot of respect.
My mother was very successful in her job. She earned many awards and accolades. She was almost always the top seller in her office. She didn’t care so much about any of that. She felt good when she helped others. And she had a rich and joyful life with many friends because of it.
It seems so simple to be kind. It seems so little a thing to listen. And when we do, the benefits to us and the world are exponential. It is a practice; we have to work to be good at it. And sometimes it seems hard or overwhelming. But the more we invest, the more we will see returns. When you age you often think you are becoming your mother. In my case, that’s a good thing.