Last week I was with my grandkids for a few days, and we inevitably found ourselves in a gift shop. There was a spending cap so anxiety was high. They were trying to find the item that cost the most while still having some value to them. They are savvy shoppers.
At one point my 7-year old granddaughter, who loves to shop, came to me in tears. I don’t know what to do Grandma, she said. I want this dinosaur stuffed animal, but girls aren’t supposed to like dinosaurs. Should I get a necklace instead? Or should I be true to myself?
In that moment, I was immensely grateful to Disney for presenting a multitude of female characters who make the choice to be true to themselves. I was also feeling compassion that such a little kid had to make these emotionally exhausting choices, and will for the rest of her life. And finally I was furious at a culture that defines who and what a female is to be, rather than letting her be who she really is. So much packed into that one moment.
I told her that whatever she chose was fine with me, but that I hoped she was always brave enough to be true to herself. That I would always support her in that. She went back and forth several times. This decision was hard for her, she was weighing it carefully. Both items were nice, but what they represented was the issue.
In the end, she chose to be true to herself. And she specifically thanked me for supporting that. And what really broke my heart was at the end of the day, when we were saying the best thing about the day, she said being true to herself was the best thing she did.
It matters. Supporting girls in becoming themselves matters. Empowering women to be who they want to be matters. And frankly empowering boys is also critical. It should not be so hard to live as we are made, to use the gifts we have been given. Society should recognize that whole, fulfilled people make better neighbors.
Let’s pray for all children to have the support and encouragement that they need to become healthy and productive adults on their terms. That we all learn to respect the dignity and integrity of every person. And that we love our neighbors as they are, not as we think they should be.