In our Lenten discussions we have been using the book “The Stories We Live” by Kathleen Cahalan. The book explores the many ways we learn what God is asking of us in the moment, offering us a vocation for now. We are reminded that we are never just one thing, never just called to be one thing. I am a priest, but also a mother, grandmother, friend, volunteer, etc.
I was struck last night by the realization that we are called by God in and through our suffering. None of us has an easy life. We all carry sorrows and griefs in the secret places of our hearts. We don’t put off loving and serving God until everything is settled and neat. Our most powerful callings come in the rawness of a moment, in the depth of our vulnerability.
Who knows better how to hold someone’s grief than one who has grieved? Who better understands the exhaustion of chronic pain than one who has been in pain? The situations are never the same, but they don’t have to be. We all know fear, we all know frustration, we all know pain and we all know sorrow. And through that, we have been loved. And through that, we can love.
Our prayer in those times of our own pain and in light of the pain of others is, how can I use this for the good? Who is in need of my understanding? Where would you have me now, God? How can I help with the compassion of my own sorrows? Ask and God will point the way. Ask and someone will appear who needs just what you can offer.
We want to be loved and understood. We don’t always see that the way to that is through the giving of ourselves as a holy and life-giving sacrifice. When we offer ourselves, it does not add to our pain, it balances it. God offers us comfort and compassion and love. And we pour that out generously in the world. That is the Christian life.