One of my distractions is to play backgammon on my phone. We all have our games, right? And this is not my only one, but it is my go-to game. I like playing this for two reasons. First, whether you win or lose, you always get to start over again. There is always another chance. And also, losing doesn’t hurt anyone. Who cares if I win or lose. It isn’t for a horse or a cow, as my ex-husband used to say.
I also have learned something about myself. I will admit to you that I don’t like to lose. I am stubborn, and I like to get my way. I can’t help but think, when I am losing, that the game is rigged. There is no way that my digital opponent could possibly get exactly the role that they needed to beat me in that exact moment if it wasn’t rigged, right? Of course I don’t feel that way when it happens to me, and if I am being fair, this happens at about the same rate for me and my opponent.
So I use the game to help me handle losing more gracefully, or at least better. There is no one to resent. It also helps motivate me, because after a losing streak I don’t want to play anymore, and I get out of the chair and do something that needs to be done, like the dishes.
In life there is plenty of winning and losing, but it seems to me that the stakes for winning or losing have never been higher. The level of anxiety on every side of every issue just seems so much more pressing, so much more weighty. And this has increased our collective anxiety, to the point where many of us are having trouble controlling it, trouble sleeping, uncertainty about what to do next.
We need some solid coping skills here, because this generalized anxiety is going to be around for at least a few more months. So how do we manage this, and our emotions that feel like they are constantly swirling with hurricane force? How do we stay healthy in the midst of a pandemic of disease and dis-ease?
Start with the low hanging fruit—exercise, healthy food, enough rest. Make choices about how much news or Facebook you will consume each day. List some practical things you can accomplish to help you feel like you are making a difference. Sit down when you are really stressed and play a few games of backgammon.
I also think it is critical to count the loving and respected people in your life. Notice the good things that are happening. Broaden your scope, your view of the world. It can feel like its all bad if you aren’t careful about balance. Not that you shouldn’t be informed, and…look at the big picture. There are a lot of really exceptional people doing exceptional things. Count your own blessings too. Perspective is critical right now.
I don’t know what will happen in November. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. Whatever it is I want to be in the best position possible to be a sign of love and hope and kindness in the world. We need to be our best selves right now. Pray for that!