Tag: love

Detail of a stained glass window in St. John's Episcopal Church, Youngstown, Ohio depicting John holding a quill and scripture showing the words "God is love" (John 4:8).

God Is Always, Always Love

Posted on | by Gayle Catinella

I was told yesterday that I am going to hell. My first thought was …maybe but not for the reason you are thinking. I was at the Pride Festival in Wellesville. In the blistering heat, protesters were gathered across the street to condemn so many things. Among them, that I as a clergy person was leading the queer folk I was standing with and for astray. I am quite sure God is OK with me being there. Being an ally seems to be good and holy work.

One issue might be that the conservative Christian protesters and I have a different vision of hell. I believe in hell, but not as a place of eternal damnation. I believe that hell is a refusal to accept God’s love for us, and for all people. We choose our own hell when we put the world and the sparkly things of the world ahead of God. It never turns out well.

The Good News which I preach is that we can turn that around at any time. God is always inviting us, always calling to us. God is always loving us and delighting in us. God is always, always love. I may have varying abilities to accept that love and difficulty living it, but as long as I believe in it and open my heart to it, I am engaged in God’s heavenly kingdom eternally.

I think in our haste to be right, even in our haste to please God, we forget a few things. We forget that we are each uniquely and lovingly crafted by God in God’s own image. God made us as we are, with all of our gifts and talents and goodness. And God pronounces that creation (us) as very good. We forget that it is God’s business to judge, and we need that in order to be constantly working to be our best selves.  But God judges, not us. We forget that fear and the evil that perpetuates it is always lurking and ready to distract us from God’s love.

So I stood across from the protesters who were shouting harsh judgements about people being who they were created to be. I tried to pray for them, to believe the good that resides in them, and to acknowledge that they also are beloved. But I believe their message is flawed, and that they are not projecting and embodying God’s love as God offers it to us. I accept their judgement of me, but I am not distracted or deterred by it. I stand for God’s acceptance and compassion and love of all people. And I accept the consequences that come with trying to live that in the world. 

Standing in Our Belovedness

Posted on | by Gayle Catinella

Last week I presided over a lovely outdoor wedding. The families were wonderful and supportive, the couple was a delight. Everything was beautiful, thoughtful and (important to me) well organized. At the reception that evening, I was asked to start the meal with a prayer. Happy to do it. And on the way back to my seat, a woman pulled me aside and said how happy she was to be at a “Christian wedding.” Me too, I said, and wondered exactly what she meant.

I was thinking later that whether I had prayed before the meal or not, whether I had presided or a judge or someone’s best friend, whether we had a Eucharist or the whole thing took 15 minutes, God would have still been present.

We can work pretty hard at pretending we are riding solo. We can convince ourselves that we do not believe, or that God is only around when we are paying attention. We can pick and choose times that include God and times that we think we exclude God. And the truth remains. God is always, always, always there. God is always with us, always calling to us and inviting us, and always loving us.

And that is the hard part, isn’t it—standing in our belovedness. I think it is easier to imagine a vengeful, punishing, judgmental God than it is to realize that God is always loving us. We know we rarely live up to our own expectation of what that means. So in defense, we just look the other way, pretend not to pay attention. And yet, God is always loving us. Absolutely, delightedly, abundantly.

Prayer is spending intentional time welcoming and trying to live into God’s love. Prayer is standing before God as we are and allowing God to love us into our best selves. When we let go of all of the negative baloney we carry and just let God love us, we are changed. And we want to share it. But prayer is a discipline, a practice. So spend time practicing being loved, practicing being delighted in, practicing accepting that love. And see where that moves you. How will you become that love in a world that sorely needs it? Who will you tell about it, invite to pay attention?

God is loving you this minute! Open the door of your heart and let God in!

What does love say when we do not agree?

Posted on | by Gayle Catinella

I love poetry. Every Lenten season I buy a book of poems from someone new and read a few a day as part of my prayer. I love the funny, the historic, the ordinary. I love words. And there are also poems or authors that aren’t my favorites. I was at a poetry reading recently, and some of the poets were fabulous, and some were… not my taste.

This is to be expected, and I want to be exposed to new things, to things I might not enjoy but should be open to hearing anyway. However, on my way home, I was thinking it might be hard to be married to a poet (or any artist really). What if they poured their heart and soul into a poem, and after the first line or two, you knew you were going to really hate it? And yet, there is your beloved, looking for affirmation. It could be so awkward.

What does love say in that moment? And isn’t it also true for religion or politics or anything potentially divisive. What does love say when we do not agree, when it is painful to listen, when your very heart says no? Isn’t it also true with friends and co-workers and the people at the gym. What does love say when the person you are sweating on the treadmill next to turns on Fox News or MSNBC?

This is the question for our time. And I would say it is a discipline that we continue to refine, a discipline of generosity and patience, of humility and investment. We model for others how we want to be listened to, how we want to be received, by the way we listen and receive. Sometimes, the most loving thing is to tell the truth boldly and sometimes it is to breathe deeply and believe in the good in each person.

What I know for sure is that the way is not violent or mean. I know that being right isn’t as important as being kind. I know that there are plenty of opinions which are not facts. I know that relationships are precious and ultimately our only hope. I invest in relationships, even when it is hard, or I have to bite my tongue. We have to build up community, and that requires love, and love always includes sacrifice.