Last week I went to Rotary in person for the first time in literally a year. I have been on their zoom option so I have been able to see people, hear the great speakers, and remember the kind way they treat one another, which is what attracted me to that group. I also had the seed money for the weekly raffle, $100, in a zipper pouch in my desk drawer, and I felt it was time to give it back (they knew I had it ).
It was great to be with people in a social setting. They took good safety precautions, and everyone was careful. I really miss going out to lunch. But about half way through the meal I realized that my table manners and social skills had suffered during the pandemic. I wolfed down my food, had to remind myself not to talk with my mouth full, and there was no mute button. I had to behave. I was a little shocked.
The realization that I am used to being alone, eating alone, doing what I want when I feel like it, is important. I have been changed by the pandemic. It has brought out my introversion, made me less tolerant and gracious, less attentive to others. I have to re-learn how to drive at night, what to wear to a birthday party, and how to listen and eat at the same time. All of that can and will be fixed. But it is critical to realize.
We have all been changed by this past year. It is foolish to think that we can just flip a switch and everything will be back to “normal.” We don’t even know what normal will be. My concern is that if we are not aware of the damage that this has done to us, we will take it out on each other. The joy of being back together will fade soon enough, and then the reality of our time alone will be on display. Will we re-learn how to be a community that gathers in real time, of course. Will it take work? More than we realize.
So pay attention. Ask yourself hard questions. How am I really dealing with my anxiety? What are the griefs that I have suffered? How do I adjust to the needs of others when I have been so focused on myself? How will I keep the good things that I have become and let go of the challenges?
Let’s pray for each other in this process.