I do not like the word tolerant. It implies that you are not passionate, not fully engaged. To be tolerant is to do just enough, which most of the time is not enough.
I went to lunch yesterday with some of the international students. (How I miss going out to lunch!!!) I was particularly interested in their safety in light of the attacks on Asians that have been happening lately. I had checked in with them a few months ago when things started heating up in California, and they said they were OK. But with the murders in Atlanta, I wanted to check in again.
Several of these students were from countries in Asia, and they said they had not been mistreated at all. The Black student mentioned that she has had bad experiences in Youngstown, but the Asian students had not. I was relieved for the Asian students. I don’t know exactly what I might have done if they had specific complaints, but there would have been some action. Advocacy for the Black student is ongoing.
Interesting to me was what they wanted to talk about. They wanted to talk about meaning, what matters in life, who they are close to and why. They wanted to talk about career paths, and how you chose a career that made a difference. They wanted to talk about connecting with people and helping others. It was a lovely and deeply meaningful exchange with people who are going to make the world a better place. People who are passionate about life.
Once again I feel compelled to say that it is not enough to say you are against violence against any group of people. It is not enough to bemoan other people’s bad choices. It is not enough to be tolerant. That young man in Atlanta learned violence, learned hate, learned dysfunction. Someone taught it, modeled it and probably encouraged it in his life.
So what can we do? Speak up. The jokes aren’t funny, the slurs are unacceptable, violence is never the answer. Unless you say that, those exact things, then maybe the only thing a young man will learn is hatred. Call family and friends to make sure they feel safe. Offer to be with them, to walk with them, to shop with them, to accompany and not to control. Tell people that they matter, that kindness matters, that life matters. Make an intentional and bold difference.